LEARN TO SWIM

how do i feel
when i cannot feel
myself fleeing
into the dreams?
how would i tell
my emotions
from the God-touch,
the sacred ray
of my soul?
it's not as if
they are oceans
i can swim across
and at the same time,
it's impossible
leaving my continent
to enter Yours
when You are the only Owner
of the universe.

there it is!
the answer was a lost verse

and i felt it when i watched
myself melt into water,
no longer afraid, no
longer attached
to the need
to find land again.
my prayers are just these drops
of water that my spirit
knows by name. i would fall
like the sun on the horizon
just to lift myself up
and exhale You,
Guiding Light,
Star-kissed Night,
flame of my soul,
we feel you now.
welcome
us
home.

UNSEEN HUES

i am not.
the flame of wisdom
may only bring me
the illusion of burning.

You are.
You are not this mystery,
You are not this hiding.

i am.
quietly, i become aware of You
as if recalling a dream,
the chameleon of Truth.

You are.
You are emptiness.
You are fulfillment.

i am; we are.
the only taxi to You is Love
and no matter what the body wishes for,
You are the constant chance to Love once more.



(Note: I'm moving all the poems from Poems With Wings into this blog. I'm not going to backdate, but I will probably list the date it was published in the old blog)

RISING IN PRAYERS

the sun is rising like the fragrance
of the rose. when we wake
from our dreams, the hues
of our souls look through our eyes
and exclaim, "Allah is greater
and prayer is better than sleep!"

if it were a flame,
Love would devour us
and we would cease
to exist in the burden
we have always believed
was the real you and me.

if it were a foreign language,
it would still leave us
among the nameless,
the ones whom words cannot cage.
we know now, Love,
Your Essence is not the face
we insist to veil it with...
and it is diving into the depths
of Your Essence that teaches best
how to live in it.

LISTENING TO MOZART AND ANGELS

Love makes music;
music makes Love.
Your ears and our ears
yearn it like no other
conversation between us.
There is no better evidence
of angels than this.
The melody is how we hear
the human heart's desire
to fly, the sound of sorrow
transformed into a prayerful cry.
When we enter paradise,
the music will have so many secrets
to share, we will spend the rest
of eternity mesmerized.

PAPA KNOWS

(lots of rough drafts spilling out of me today and i want to note them in the blog because they are my questions and answers about peace all at once)

bawa, my eyes are failing.
papa, i can't see.

papa, there is a veil
of words i put over God's words
and now i am too blind to read.
bawa, if i told them this,
they would take me to doctors
because all i want to tell them
is, "i have found the way to peace
is to let it be like rain."
cleanse me of my sins. bawa, am i crazy
to think it's as simple as bleeding
peace drop by drop no matter how hard
someone else bleeds for war?
am i wrong to love God more?

isn't it just to make love?
isn't it just to refuse anger
and replace it with this sweet dream
where no one is harmed, where everyone

sees
You
are
calling
us to be
Peace,
where
we
have
no
choice
but
to
be
children
drawn
to
Love?

what is i?

i am the desire
to become this bruise,
same color as the night,
where am i?

or is the i an illusion?

the dream is not going anywhere,
the false will not commit itself to truth.
the singer can fill the song, but not become it.
yet we all find our way to this longing

to be in Love.

you and i share the wound,
we are forgetting who we are
and who we are to God.
so why, why, why are we still so scared?

we are the antibiotic, too.

feel me, this blood fills me,
this love of life blinds me,
when everything is God
why is God still so hard for us to see?

our glasses smashed in the street; now the bare feet bleed.

i will carry you, lift you, hold you,
is this God? this dance?
dance. we are dancing.
we are God's dance. dance.

dreamer, dream.
lover, love.
sister, brother,
mother father,

God. it is all God.

this religion
is like Muhammed,
Peace Be Upon Him,
who walked away from a war

to lead millions of warriors

into the heart
of a community and said,
"now the greater jihad begins."
you and i are the ones holding guns,

not God.

JUST LOVE

every time
i tell someone
about islam,
i say,
"peace."
i say,
"salaam."
this alone
speaks volumes
about my faith

that every Muslim
lives today
to teach the meaning
of greeting
the world in peace.

i think we all agree
that the wounds
are blood in the palms
of God, that Christ,
Peace Be Upon Him,
was not crucified
so that we might make war
instead of love.

and Noah wasn't given
the duty of an ark
so large it could
rescue us in pairs
just so that we could
spend these years
separating over the veil
of God we call our differences.

don't we all breathe
the same air?
don't we ultimately
share it?

the need for Mercy
is not to be gambled,
hidden until one wins
and another loses.
in those games,
we think we gather around God
but Shaytan deals the cards.

let me point at my own face,
let me make due with the fact
that all belongs to God.
i owe Him this claim
of my own pile of shame.

i can see only myself
in the mirror of God's eyes.
i must repent my own way
back into God's grace
and you repent your way
into yours. we can do it with
the rays of the peace of God
in our eyes,our hearts and legs.
our hands must hold what matters,
not cards or dice or bombs.

how can we not forgive
when every moment of our lives,
God is forgiving.
this God beyond description
shows us one thing.
pleasing God is just love
until just love
is enough for everyone.

Muhammed, Peace Be Upon Him,
waits in his heart to be touched
by the beauty as Allah
is praised with all our senses.
there is nothing more
to life than this.
the purpose of life
is to live it as His.

YA RAHMAN

let it be my truth.
the first name of my Lover
is the heart of my desire.

Ya Rahman

may i make good
with Your Goodness.
may my deeds be sweet
as the habits of birds
greeting that first light.

Ya Rahman

let me wake to my desire
to please You as i reach
into the night

Ya Rahman

i awaken again
to the knowledge.
prayer is better
than sleep.

Ya Rahman

may my prayer be
beautiful as the dawn.

Ya Rahman

may every breath
of my prayer
scatter the seeds
of Your Goodness,

Ya Rahman,

throughout the world.

Ya Rahman

may i be so full of beneficence,
my entire being shimmers
with Divine Light.

Ya Rahman

this yearning
is a candle under the stars.

Ya Rahman

i know nothing of Your Goodness
unless i seek to make it the heart
of my heart, the breath of my breath,
the voice of my voice is Yours,
O Tenderly Beneficient One.

Ya Rahman
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahman

WHAT YOU TRULY ARE NOT

Light
will not
catch
so trust
you are not caught
in the brambles,
you truly are not.
you did not stop going
toward God.
the thorns will remind you
of Him. they are just like angels.
you should thank them!
His Love is more than
any illusion.
God let you get stuck
on the lesson of the thorn.
are you praying?
are you patient?
are you sure
you want
nothing
more
than
God?

A SHAYKH IS REMEMBERED

ELEGY FOR LEX HIXON

in my heart,
you are an author
whose book
fills my mind
with pages,

questions
that we find at
every intersection,
you took the time
to answer,
Brother
on the Path of Light,
the Path of the Beloved.

do you smile at our tough shells?
do you wait to tell us the tool
is love? the hammer can't break us.
with gentle encouragement, we make friends
with the most fragile flowers in the Beloved's garden.

we all need Love to become buds
and more Love to be one with the Bloom.
one man's light stands by while we work
to reach the meat of our heart.
we drank the words
of the Quran
all night.

he showed the way
and it was just another november,
the first day, years after his ray went home,

we are here
tonight
not to fade.
for in heaven
there is no dusk
and it is always a new dawn.
the walls came down
when we learned
there was no need for them,
just the strength
of the Sufi, at home
on every holy route,
the wanderer,
the seeker,
the dreamer,
the song
you sang,
we are singing, too.

WANTING TO CHANT

(this is a very rough draft, but I wanted to post it here anyway)

tonight
at midnight
in the quiet,
i will pray
myself
into
You,

la ilaha ill allah

Heartbeat
of heartbeats.

la ilaha ill allah

there is no us,
no me, no not.
there is no you,
but You.

la ilaha ill allah

Divine Everything,
in the silence
after the midnight chime,

la ilaha ill allah

all that is here,
all that is caught up
for a while in time speaks.

la ilaha ill allah

hear all existence
in the stillness

la ilaha ill allah

worshiping
You.

la ilaha ill allah

there is no you
but You

la ilaha ill allah