IN DRAWING THE SPIRAL

Regarding my poem about The Goddess, most of us say there is no such thing as male or female in God. Yet when many people hear God or Allah, they think of "Him" in a masculine sense. I try to use a variety of names for The Nameless One in my blogs to loosen others and myself from the habit of making God into an image of a man.

IN DRAWING THE SPIRAL

the sound of The Goddess
appears. how does
the swirling of crayons
on paper become so obvious
a sign, so obvious
a melody?

when you can't hear
Her voice, take chalk
or pens or even a stick
and let Her sing you
into the sound,
pirouette
after
pirouette.

Her melodies
will peel away
our layers of doubt,
exposing the soul's gift
of harmony.
even in the silence,
She listens, tucking us
into Her Heart
where Light and Sound
and even Heaven and Earth
become at once every synonym
for Love and Peace in the realm of eternity..

(last revision: 11/9/07)

PEARLS

sorrow is not the cause of this.
my heart isn't heavy with this weight
because it is hurt. i chased
joy and now my hair is going gray
and being immersed in Your Love means more
than avoiding what i risk to yearn.
You are nodding. You give me a feather,
to put in the dream of my wings
and tell me to ache to fly
until the ache is joy and my cries
are hymns full of gratitude.
"tears," God says, "turn to pearls
when they fall for Me and Me alone."

when you're the one to smell the rose...

Salaam,

The other day I was wowed by something Lex Hixon wrote in the beginning of "The Heart of the Koran". His friend smelled roses when they made the spiritual pilgrimage to Mecca. It made me wonder what this might have to do with how often I "smell flowers that aren't there" in recent months. This morning, while listening to some great music, it happened. I smelled the rose. When stuff like that happens, I feel myself leaving this world and how hard it would be to exist in both worlds at once. God has helped me though to find a place where I can touch Love and have another drop of It spilled into my heart.

Probably not too many people expect to dance with God. We don't think God would choose us for a dance. Just like our first dances at school and our first cases of puppy love, we're wondering if we might not be special enough to be wrapped in His arms and led on the Dance floor. That's the only thing that stands between ourselves and God, thinking we're not special enough. We think God only goes to the prophets (Peace Be Upon Them) or the saints or the mystical poets like Rumi.

I don't mean the type of special that replaces humility with gluttonous pride. True Love of God fills the humble heart. The proud heart is my personal jihad. My pride, not my lack of it, causes the lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. I fight with it constantly, but there has been some tiny spark yearning to glow and grow inside my heart. This is the flame of Love that lives inside every heart. Sometimes it is buried under so much junk, it feels like it's not there.

But...God is...the most Merciful. If Allah forgives, we can forgive ourselves for the error of the junkyards in our hearts and start decluttering with a sincere desire to repent. This means to humble (not humiliate) ourselves before Allah who knows how hard we struggle. God made us; She knows what we are up against yet She also gives us the power to reject desires that lead us to sin.

Just ask; God will listen.

Know that even we , the average man and woman, can smell the rose that appears not to be there. Just one bit of advice: God knows even glimpses of pure Love could make us too drunk to walk for the rest of our lives. So God gives you and me what She gives us drop by drop until we can handle the amazing world as Muhammed (PBUH) described for God in the Beautiful Quran. Bury yourself inside the fragrance of the rose and praise God for leading you to it. You can do it. We can all do it!

Al-hamdu lillah! Praise God!

WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SMELLS THE ROSE

i don't know
what i'm saying,
but Allah does.
the mystery
of not knowing
is enough
when revelation
turns like this dance
with God on my tongue.

my BeLoved, why
does the essence
of the rose
shower me now
from the depths
of my soul
as if i dream
myself into a new
sense of being?

i could fade
into it,
couldn't i?
i am senseless,
changing with faith,
etched
on my heart,
leading me into
death of self,
the fragrance,
the dance,
the mystery
of this language
leads to death
of flesh.

i breathe the Language
to be made pure
with Your Love.
i chant Your Names
again and again
until i lose all
but my call to You within.

(last revision: 10/24/07)

*footnote: see Divine Remembrance for the experience that led to this poem

IT ISN'T EASY LOVING THE ENEMY

when the sky
acknowledges
your secrets,
the universe
pulls down
the walls,

the barriers
of the tiniest cells
open and what is within them
blossoms,

when we trust
what is most innate,
our actions embrace that.
we put fear down
like a gun
and move ourselves
into a new place,
where we understand
our enemies
and trust them enough
to fill them
like cupped hands
taking water.
love is love
after all.

we don't need walls;
we need to hold peace
like the most fragile
thing that needs to be
born from us.

(last revision: 10/22/07)

LAST NIGHT A MAN IN HARTFORD DIED

last night a man in hartford died.

the news anchor fit it in
between two sensational stories.

most of us don't know whose life

was lost or care the heart within
once belonged to a baby.

in our faraway town, there are no crimes

and hard times are less frequent
and good times an assumed thing,

we haven't time to mourn thugs' lives.

the evening news doesn't owe a man,
but we do, we the human family,

who put tears in God's eyes.

(last revised: 8/29/07)

i will stop using the backdating option and just add these poems in with a note on the revision history.

YOU ARE HUNGRY

are you hungry?

your body is a bowl
and I fill it
with ingredients
that defend
and offend
your soul,
but there are spices
to turn bitter things sweet
and other things sour.
feed your hunger,
but with my recipes.
digest but also nourish
yourself wherever
you starve
and never forcefeed,
but seek to share
each meal as proof of My Love.

(last revision: 10/19/07)

MEETING WITH GOD

(I wrote this September 22; it's sort of halfway between poem and lyrics, but it helps me feel comforted by the newly felt presence of God in my life)

He meets me here
in my one step forward,
wipes away my tears,
tells me i have found my Lord.

i fill my heart with Him,
i cry out to Allah
before the day begins
and again under the stars.

the rain is my reminder
that i must wash my sins
and all day i must yearn
to be worthy of Him.

the sky did not turn blue
without His permission.
the world does not turn
unless under his direction.

Allah, my Allah,
may i be worthy of Your Love.
My Allah, Ya Allah,
may i be granted Your Compassion.

My Allah, i have no words
for the way You fill my heart
with desire to be pure
and praise You forever.

Let Your Will be my will,
let my humility be pleasing.
as i journey valleys and hills,
may my soul never cease

reaching toward You.
let my journey be worthy
lead me to You, Ya Wadood.
Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim.

(last revised Sept. 22)

IN HER EMBRACE

i think i would feel safest
dressed in Your Embrace,
naked beneath it
and feeling my body
as a vague and distant melody;
Your lullaby and nothing else
carried me to this place
where i could give up everything
just to be wrapped like a gift
in the essence of Your Love's Embrace.

sort of a haiku...

i heard You answer
while i knelt whispering in
the ears of flowers.

(i realized today that the Divine ray comes from all of creation not just humankind. this poem honors that and is my prayer to be more loving toward earth and to take my responsibility serioiusly to revere and protect all creation).

GOD DANCED WITH ME

(praise God)

my soul is slipping
away
through a secret passageway.
i am out of the cage.
and we are going to Hu.
He is beauty;
She is Father;
He is Mother;
but
also Lover
and in All Aspects, the Ultimate Friend.
i am Loved;
i am Laughing.
I am Crying.
i have tasted Love's Sweetness,
reaching for Hu
in Hu.
She answered.

i have danced with God.
does this make sense?
no, it doesn't,
but i have danced with God
and in my falling
away from my world
Hu's Embrace took the falling away.
and i tell you
the Embrace
is a Dance
and the Dance is Love.
it is a Paradise.
yes,
i have tasted Paradise.