written while reading a dying priest's poem (last revised on 6/14/08)

all i know is i
expected beauty
in his description
of dying.
why was he smiling?

a pastor has a gift,
i thought as i rewound the words
verse by verse. read it again
from the beginning

"to read this poem,"
he writes,
"remember you are dying, too."

and if we are all dying,
why waste words on moonlight?
and it was as if he were reading my mind.
even a priest, in the midst of it
looks into the face of death and says
not yet.
not yet.

he opened the book back up
and said read it, this time
as if it is your dying heart's last wish.

i am here at my desk,
pen in hand, hoping to create a word for this.
there isn't one. i read your poem again
and when i'm done, i look and there it is.

the moon is making love!
why did it never tell me
it's secret? why won't it tell
me the ones you hide in your words?
here i am.
alone,
afraid,
alive.
and after forty seven years on earth,
i still have so much to learn.
death is a teacher,
and in the end, the student
learns through layers
over and over and over again.

(this is a very rough draft, not sure it is ready to be here so it will probably be revised and revised for awhile).

Sister, Sister

(lyrics)

my song for you waits here,
we have never met. yes,
we have, we have never met,
yes we have. they sing
in a language that is foreign
to my ear, but the melody
reaches into my heart,
clear as a bell, i hear
you are crying, i listen
to your tears. sister, i am here.

*chorus*
sister sister drums call
from my heart to yours.
you have never known peace
and i have never known war.
sister sister drums call;
feel me so prayerful,
i reach around the world
to help.
to help.
sister sister how how how?

my guitar played a happy tune,
until your heartbreak broke through.
i am listening for answers now,
i am listening so closely now.
why have you gone silent?
why can't i hear?
is it my ears? or are you gone?
sister sister where are you now?

*chorus*
sister sister drums call
from my heart to yours.
you have never known peace
and i have never known war.
sister sister drums call;
feel me so prayerful,
i reach around the world
to help.
to help.
sister sister how how how?

they tell me we are enemies.
they tell me there can't be peace
until all the soldiers come home.
bring them home. bring them home now.
you're not alone; we are one family.
sisters, brothers, daughters, fathers,
cousins, uncles, strangers, friends,
doctors, teachers, poets, farmers,
shepherds. in all this, there are
men and women young and old,
babies and children, orphaned
because no one knows how
to make these battles end.

*chorus*
sister sister drums call
from my heart to yours.
you have never known peace
and i have never known war.
sister sister drums call;
feel me so prayerful,
i reach around the world
to help.
to help.
sister sister how how how?

insert yourself here...

(an autobiographical recollection)
insert yourself here...

here a woman on the news
is crying because
in a fire, her home disappeared.

here a dog is tortured,
beaten and nearly dead
because he peed
in his owners flower bed.

here a child is an orphan
living under a bridge
with a dozen other orphans.

here geese return again,
the pond gone, the field gone,
now there is a mansion.

here is a grandmother
who must choose between food
or a day where arthritis doesn't hurt.

here you are
watching the news
while you eat your supper
and though you hear
what is being said,
your heart is dead.

learning to...

jotting down words
meaningless without You
and there are no words
to describe what happened
when my life opened up
the scent of my soul
like the dawn

why have you forgotten punctuation?
the teachers ask

i tell them
i haven't

where are the poems?
friends ask

nowhere
i say
and everywhere
why are you asking?

you have changed
my mother sighs

mama
i am in Love
thats all
nothing
else
i

pick up an eraser
and Allah erases
who i was
and
Allah builds
my new life
with faith
with hope

did i make a mistake?
i ask when i look
in the mirror
and my heart opens
and i know
certainly

only through Him
i am

HUNGER

(edit: 4/27/08)

my belly is proof of it,
my senses longing
for the sweet things.
sugar and cars,
stereos and jewelry,
new hardwood floors,
an hdtv and magazines,
a diamond and pearl
and a new gold ring.
i hunger to live simply,
unattached to fads and trends,
never bothered by donuts
and diet soda. i want to wake up
at dawn by the nudge of the first rays
of sun, feel full on gratitude
and a day where i may serve the Lord.
what a world this would be
if I surrendered to be nourished
and lived on in Truth aware and blessed.

haiku

as birds watch
a girl sings
to the daffodils

Touching Faith

you have your doubt
because doubt
is the bars of a cage
you believe in.
you see only
a blurred world of illusion.
still gently as the breath prays
the soul dreams its way
out of every prison people create,
including the fear
that leads to lack of belief.
Lover, it's your heart we seek
inside our own. you have felt
the breath of Him on your skin
until you named it wind.
how can we know
we dress things in our own
sense of limitation?

if i placed a star in the palm of your hand,
you would feel the way
the earth feels when it becomes
a mother to a forest of seeds.
behold the star now.
if you believe it
is what you view from earth,
balance it in the palm of your hand.
if you can't, you have touched Truth,
allowing your heart the faith
of the entire universe.

(a rough draft still in progress)